Kristen Stewart’s Saturday Night Live monologue was going so well right until the very end!
The Personal Shopper star hosted SNL this weekend, which included a fun (albeit a bit nervous) opening monologue where some SNL castmates Kate McKinnon and Aidy Bryant tried to show Stewart that they were just as cool as she was by pretending to be stereotypical badasses.
“I’m too cool for school too, I don’t even care about this show, “McKinnon said as she came out in tattered black clothes smoking a cigarette. “I don’t even want to be on it, right? I just want to be like you, right? Sleep all day, party all night.”
“Yeah, that’s cool. That sounds cool,” Stewart said, laughing. “I don’t really do that, though. I worked on five movies last year.”
Then Bryant rolled out on stage on the back of a black Harley Davidson, bragging that the only thing she cares about is sex.
“I’m never not doing it,” Bryan bragged. “I have sex every single day.”
“I think that’s really healthy. That’s a good choice,” Stewart replied. “You guys don’t have to do this, though. Just to make me think you’re cool. Because I think you guys are so awesome. It’s a done deal.”
“Oh thank god,” McKinnon sighed.
“Yeah, thank you. Because I have sex once a week on Sundays right before dinner and that’s it,” Bryant added.
It was a legitimately adorable moment between the three actresses that must have made Stewart feel a little too comfortable, because that’s when she went off script.
“We’ve got a good show and I totally care that I’m here because it’s the coolest f**king thing ever-” Stewart said, before immediately realizing that she’s just dropped an F-Bomb on live TV.
From the reaction on all three of the stars’ faces, it was clear this was a totally accidental moment. While Bryant and McKinnon couldn’t help but laugh, and a regretful Stewart pushed through, concluding, “I’m sorry and Alessia Cara is also here and I’ll never come back. Stick around!”
As the show cut from her monologue to a pre-recorded sketch, Bryant and McKinnon hugged a clearly embarrassed Stewart as she walked off stage.
At the start of her monologue, before things went a bit south, Stewart admitted that she was already a little nervous because there was a good chance President Donald Trump was watching the show.
“I don’t think he likes me that much,” Stewart explained. “Here’s how I know. Four years ago this guy I was dating this guy named rob. Robert. We broke up and then we got back together, and for some reason it made Donald Trump go insane.”
Stewart was of course referring to Trump’s infamous one-sided feud with the “Twilight” actress after she and her ex, Robert Pattison, split up in 2012.
Trump tweeted, “Robert Pattinson should not date Kristen Stewart because she cheated on him like a dog and will do it again. Just watch. You can do so much better,” and later followed it up with, “Everyone knows I’m right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart. In a couple years he will thank me. Be smart, Robert.”
Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again–just watch. He can do much better!
Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump)
October 17, 2012
He later tweeted, “Everyone’s asking me to speak more on Robert and Kristen and I don’t really have time except to say, Robert, drop her, she cheated on you and she’ll do it again.”
“Okay. To be fair, I don’t think Donald Trump hated me. I think he’s in love with my boyfriend,” Stewart joked. “The president is not a huge fan of me. But that is so okay. And Donald, if you didn’t like me then, you’re really probably not going to like me now. Because I’m hosting SNL and I’m, like, so gay, dude.”
This was the first episode of “SNL” since Aziz Ansari hosted the show one day after Trump’s inauguration, so it was almost a foregone conclusion that Alec Baldwin would be reprising his impression of the former “Celebrity Apprentice” host in the cold open, and Baldwin did not disappoint.
Baldwin’s Trump egged on by “SNL’s” version of Steve Bannon, which is literally just the grim reaper made a series of petulant, absurd calls to various world leaders, mocking Trump’s recent confrontational interactions with Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull and Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto.